It’s been nearly two years since I lost the biggest person in my life. Nothing prepares you for any of it. What is on my mind today, is the fact my daughter is losing her memories with my mother. She was three months shy of her 4th birthday. The time that some children start to develop long-term memories. This breaks my heart to a million pieces.
This moment
Octavia and Karma taking some time to play around with some bubbles. The Grand Canyon is the backdrop! This was Karma’s last family holiday. Capturing these moments when I did, turned out to be a blessing as, at this time, we did not know the pain and suffering Karma was starting to feel.
All Rights are katiegail photography
Epiphany, epiphany!
It’s been many, many months since my last entry. What I have been up to? It’s more, what has happened since my last entry. Some pretty big life events happened in 2019. The first one is pretty big, but it’s too personal to speak in a public forum. We’ll call that information X for argument’s sake. Last spring, I was given a bit of information for me to absorb. I received the information very mature, handled it well and too much in shock to have any other emotions really. For some, it could turn their world completely upside down or have a grudge to hold on like a teenager for all entirety. Given my age and being a mother, I received the information with a different mental state and acknowledgment of the reasons behind it. Now, I cannot say for certain if I had received that message when I was, 16 or even 25. What I do know is, the timing of said information was perfect. I could have even lived my entire life not knowing. Because to me, it wasn’t life or death, it wasn’t something in my control. I am a sensitive person, very much so. My passion lives deep inside me. I was more worried about other parties involved then how it affected me. Why? Because it doesn’t change a thing for me. Since that moment, I have had many epiphanies. I didn’t know that’s what they were until I started seeing a therapist. My weekly appointment with my therapist has shown me more than I could have hoped. My take away from each session feels as if what I have been holding onto for so long is finally be channeled out. Opening my mind and eyes to what I have been feeling and thinking. I finally figured out how to describe my depression. I actually did this prior to my first appointment with my therapist which is what helped me to seek a therapist. I do not know what life is like to NOT be suffering from depression. I hope to find out what it is like.
I long for the slow days
Remember when you were young that the days seemed to last forever? That 2.55pm final bell rings at school, you waited all day for that bell. You get onto the school bus and the fun begins! When I think of my childhood, I remember the good times I had with my siblings and the adventures we took. Now as a mother, I’m watching my young daughter enjoying her slow days. She moves from one activity to another. Coloring for five minutes then to outside to her water table. Sometimes the water comes into the house. I do envy her innocence at times and certainly the feeling that Christmas and birthdays were taking forever to arrive. Now as adults, you feel you don’t have enough hours in the day to do what you want. Birthdays come and go so fast. I hope retirement brings back the slow days for me so I may enjoy life more.
What the heck! I’m back!
I had a techincal issue with my blog but now it’s fixed and I am back! I do have much to say and share. Stay tuned!
2019
A new year, a new beginning. Right? That’s what we like to tell ourselves in hopes of making the new year the best year of our lives, but let’s face it, some shitty things will happen too. The best thing anyone can do is live in the moment, enjoy everything and everyone around you. One day, something will happen and you are left with regrets. When the end is near, no one will care that you are debt free, that you lost 100lbs+ of fat, no will care if you came into work on time every single day. What will people care about is your face, your laughter, your passion you showed, the people you loved and cared for, your lust to live life. So you find a partner whose goals are the same as yours and find the best way to live your lives together. There are no set rule books on how happiness is measured. You may not be famous or published a book, what you can do especially as parents are, building a legacy for children and your children’s children. Set the example, be that example and teach that example. The best decision my husband and I made for our daughter is a ULI (Universal Life Insurance). I will not go into details as you are an adult and is capable of reading the wiki link I provided. When we become parents, sometimes new parents forget about the ‘what if’. My friendly reminder is to think about the ‘what if’ and make a plan.
Happy New Year to you all!
Keto – Day 1
I’ve had it, I’ve had enough of feeling sluggish and my lack of self esteem about my body.
Hoping on the Keto trend to drop the fat and then stabilize a healthy weight. I did give a week of sugar free and saw great results.
I’ve never been a fan of any photos of myself, so I’m willing to share numbers instead. Here are my numbers for today. I’m curious to know where the sliming will start at.
My first goal is to drop down to my pre-pregnancy weight. Which means 30 pounds to loose. After hitting that it’s the pre-marriage weight, another 30! Yup my target is to drop 60 pounds. Anyone who remembers me in 2010, that is when I was 130ish.
This will bring also, saving money going out to eat, better lifestyle, a better example for my daughter.
Stay tuned!
Love and Bananas
This beautifully done documentary follows an elephant rescue who is 70 years old and partially blind named Noi Na by Ashely Bell. The journey is long and stressful for all involved. It is an eye-opener of what if you have no knowledge on what it takes to rescue a beautiful creature.
You follow Bell and her team of videographers with Lek Chailert on this life-threatening rescue. Along the way you learn where Lek Chailert started and her personal experience in the cruelty of service elephants. She is someone who I aspire to and admire. This is an emotional film but I highly encourage all to watch it. You will walk away more knowledgeable about elephants and how you can help. I applaud Ashely Bell on her fast action to join the rescue team to bring back and show us what goes on first hand. I only wish I had the means to do what she did. What I can do is spread awareness and promote good people like Lek Chailert and many others like her.
Song to Song
I recently enjoyed the movie Song to Song after browsing the options through my Amazon Firestick. This poetic film will test your patience. The characters have intertwined through love and desire. Have you seen it? What did you think?
The film released on March 17th, 2017.
10 Years Ago Continued
The project I was brought on was moving to the site location in Malaysia. Asia was new to me and I couldn’t have been more excited. Asia was beautiful in many ways. Traveling so far alone was actually very easy for me. A flight from Albany, NY to Newark, NJ to Bejing, China to Kaula Lumpur, Malaysia. Took in total 22 hours of traveling. Gives you much time to think of so much.
When I finally arrived in Kaula Lumpur and made it to the hotel (which was so nice!), I did one day of work then was off for two days. I happened to arrive right when Ramadan started. The Shangri-La hotel had a beautiful infinity pool.
Shangri-La’s infinity pool
Me at the front of the hotel in Putrajaya, Shangri-La
My work agreement was to work 5 ten hour days and one 5 hour day on Saturdays. It was a lot of work but the money was worth it and the experience as a whole. Saturday nights was for sure, a night to let loose and enjoy the city of Kaula Lumpur. Sundays were relaxing with some sightseeing. I was 30 during that time and way more energy. I had actually lost 10 pounds in Europe, and by the end of my stay in Malaysia, I had lost another 20! What did I do? Eat local food and didn’t exercise, goes to show that food outside the United States is way better for you. At that time in my life, I had to lose that weight. Maybe it was the fact I wasn’t trying or the stress being away. All honestly? The traveling and being out of my comfort zone is what made me happy. I do adore my home, but my home can be anywhere.
Kaula Lumpur has some beautiful buildings. The Petronas Towers are worldwide known.
Patronas Towers is at 452/1,483 (m/ft.)
To see more of my photos taken in Malaysia, visit my Flickr album Malaysia
Like Europe, I traveled as much as I could during my time in Asia. Given the work schedule I had, it was difficult to see more. I took one week off to go to Beijing, China. I met up with a long time friend from Australia.
Jess and I at the Forbidden City
We enjoyed exploring the city together during her birthday week! We took a tour of the Ming Tombs, the Great Wall of China and a tour of the Jade factory. Our guide was great and funny. Tourists in our group were from all over. Including a few from Kaula Lumpur! China is a very different country. You do have to go prepared in many ways. One, have all your destinations translated into Chinese. That was a life saver for us when grabbing a cab. It was one of the best trips I ever been on.
My trip home was an adventure in itself! It was December 22, 2008. From KL to Beijing, then Beijing to Newark, NJ. When I arrived in the states, it was cold and icy at the airport. We were unable to get to our gate due to icy pavement. We had to wait it out until the crew was able to melt the ice. Which in turn caused me to miss my last and final flight. It was nearly Christmas and the crowd was heading towards customer services desks and being told no available flights for two days. I rented a car! Now, I came from Malaysia which is closer to the equator in the mid-80s F and humid plus driving on the right side of the car and on the left said of the road! Newark was cold, icy and back to the right side of the road and left side of the car! I drove the three hours it took to get from Newark to Albany, NY. I climbed into my own bed roughly about 3 am. After 24+ hours of travel, I was done!
What I learned from the 6 months aboard, being away from your comfort zone is great for personal growth, challenges you face and to appreciate what you have at home. No one culture is the same. Experiencing other cultures first hand is a life lesson and experience into one. You do see the flaws in your own country, it’s not to compare some aspects from country to country. If anything it gives a new meaning to life and what is precious to hang onto. I love this planet Earth and the people, sites, plant life, and animals. It’s truly amazing, I encourage all to explore what this world has to offer. Start small but exploring a town in another state or trying a new cuisine. So much to see and do, so little time in one life. Never hold back on an opportunity of a lifetime.
